You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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