Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
