Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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