So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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