Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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