You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
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