Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize