Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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