okay pat passed out under dana's car
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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