i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm both gender and math confused
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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