She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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