no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
