felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's blow job season.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
