i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My breath smells like gin and sadness
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize