Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
