remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
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Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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