I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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