Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
