dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
