i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
