I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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