i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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