that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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