I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
