I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize