Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How external is "for external use only"?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
