I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
