then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize