I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
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Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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