if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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