Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
