whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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