ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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