We won't sleep together?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
