OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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