Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
