i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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