My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
