I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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