May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize