You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
