i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I pour the whiskey from now on
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
