Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
