She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The power of my boobs compel you
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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