the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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