im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
no, he came in my armpit
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
