So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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