ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize