He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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