I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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