at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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