using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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