4 words: hood of his car
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
