He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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