just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
