is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
