I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
