Heybabeimwearingurpanties
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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