she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
